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Competition (3.8)
3.8.02 – More feeble attempts: Joe: If I win that
contest, what do I win? Erika: A t-shirt. It says it right on the site. Joe: I don't go to
the site, against my religion. Then
this whole contest is a waste of my time!
A t-shirt? You prolly won't
even mail it to me. Erika: It's a cool
t-shirt. I’ll bring it home. Joe: Then I guess the
combined forces of Downtown and Joe this evening were a waste of time. Erika: What’d you do? Joe: Hell, there
aren't even 2 shirts. How do we split a
shirt? Does he get 1 side and I get
the other? Erika:
Joint-entry? I’m not sure about that. Joe: Can't there be
such a thing? Erika: Ok, fine. But no more than 2 people in on it. So, what’d you come up with? Joe: Ok, ‘cause we
scoured everywhere: East Coast, West Coast, we got you covered lickity-split. Erika: Oh god. The rules state that I can accept or
decline any date. Joe: Believe me, they
will not be declined on your end! Erika: Just tell me
what you came up with. Joe: Well, I went
with Downtown's Yeti idea. I mean who
doesn't wanna go out with a yeti at one point in their life? Am I right?
Eh? Eh? Erika: He said “yes”? Joe: Well, he said
“RU-RA.” I think in Portuguese that
means “foxy lady.” We weren't sure on
that, though. I’m sure if we had the Webster’s Yeti Guide Dictionary, we
would really know it means “FUCK YOU,” but we didn't. Erika: Great. I think I'll decline that one. Joe: Second: good ol’
Dimmy. Erika: I don’t know
this kid. Joe: You don't have
to know him! I mean the kid is
hilarious, a real riot, stupid as gum stuck to the bottom of your shoes. A real winner. Erika: Great. No, thanks. Joe: If we can't set
him up with you, then were settin’ him up with Kate. So either way it’s a win-win
situation. I mean she’s a true
chemical. They’re hard to come by
these days. Erika: I suggest you
try Kate. Joe: Alright. I'll get back to you with our other
potentials. They have yet to finish
our intense screening process. Erika: Uh, ok. Joe: We got this kid
from Florida. He has some potential, and he can spell, unlike me! Erika: Well, that's a
plus. And the competition truly begins: Paula: Does the person
have to be a guy? Have you considered
lesbianism? Because if not, I’m sure
that I could hook you up. I recently found
out that I know a couple that is into having threesomes with girls your
age. One is a guy. Erika: Ah, the rules do
state that it has to be a guy. Paula: Fuck the rules,
man. Erika: I am not a
lesbian. Paula: Neither am I. Erika: I don’t want to
do a three-way. Paula: Why not? You seem like the experimental type. Erika: It’s way too
impersonal. I may be experimental, but
that does not fall under what I'll do. Paula: Well, if you
ever change your mind, you know where to ask. Erika: I'll let you
know. Paula: Cool. Erika: Grrr. Paula: What is Erik’s
SN? Erika: ******** Paula: One date coming
up. Paula: How would you
like to date a fine young lady who almost has the same name as you? How’s that?
Are you busy? What about
tonight? Right now? Erik: Just went to
buffet with her and a couple others. Paula: How about Sunday
night? Paula: You have a date
with Erik Sunday night. Erika: Awesome. Paula: Awesome. You guys better kiss. Erika: Ewwww, you're
gross! Paula: You’re lying! Erika: I know. Erik: Well, I figure
since we'll prolly end up hangin’ out anyway, she can try for her t-shirt. Erika: Ok. Erik: And besides, at
least you'll have something on your rating page. Maybe it will spark more entries. Erika: Indeed. You gotta plan it, though! Or Paula. Erik: I'm not plannin’
nothin’. Paula: He’s making me
do the planning. Erika: Apparently. Paula: I did it; done
and done. Erika: Cool. Err, rock, rather. Paula: Yay! Erika: You’re crazy. Paula: You’re
crazy. I set you up on your first
date! Erika: Awwww, I’m
absolutely giddy! Paula: Awesome. I think
that I’m gonna win! Erika: You’ll prolly be
the only person who actually enters. Paula: Hey, a winner is
a winner. Erika: Indeed. Paula: You’re going to
Chinese food and an independent film.
Ok? Ok. In Erika: Ok, sounds good. Erik: We're apparently
going to DC. Erika: So I hear. Erik: Like that's
never happened, ever. Erika: Not once. Erik: I don’t even
know what DC stands for. Erika: Dominican Erik: Oh, right. I keep forgetting. Dominican.
Damn. Some people just don’t think: Erik: I'll hook you up
with David! Erika: He has a
girlfriend, no? Erik: Details. Erika: Crazy. |